It’s the courting life aquatic on episode 5 of. Nina, an administrative assistant from San Diego, has in my view one of many extra unsettling prosthetics. She’s a dolphin, full with fin and blowhole. She desires a cowboy. “I really love the idea of just living out on a big farm with my cowboy and some horses,” she says, as if the cowboy will go right into a temperature-controlled cupboard each night for storage.
Vying for Nina’s dolphin attentions is Mick, a holistic well being practitioner from Los Angeles. Mick’s a rhino. He’s additionally my nightmare. I’ll let him let you know why: “I am the techno prince warrior poet monkey man spiritual cowboy on the hero’s journey to liberate human kind.”
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Reader, I mashed the pause button and simply yelled “STOPPPPP” on the TV. It will get higher. He apparently practices one thing he calls “sex kung fu,” which feels prefer it’s presumably deeply offensive to conventional practitioners of kung fu, and likewise one thing I will not be Googling to gauge the validity of. (Can I get a sensitivity reader in right here?)
Following Mick is Dominic, a mannequin from London masquerading as a mantis. He likes to celebration and says he will get advised ALL the time that his persona is elite. Right. Sure. ALL THE TIME. So many individuals.
Rounding out the trio is Dustin, a pupil from Texas who’s dressed as a scarecrow. He likes weapons, horses and boots! Hot diggity. Ole Dustin right here appears like a cowboy. Oh boy.
Once the velocity dates get going, Nina instantly zeroes in on these boots.
“He’s such a guy, and that’s really hot,” she says, not simply reducing the bar however fully eradicating it. Her learn on Mick? He pays consideration to her, which she likes. GIRL. Raise your requirements. Dominic tells her that he discovered himself in Cancun at a moist T-shirt contest whereas on Spring Break.
In the tip, she sends Dustin dwelling as a result of, get this: carrying boots shouldn’t be an enough indicator of compatibility.
In the wake of the cowboy debacle, Dominic and Nina go bowling, the place they attempt to slide stomach first down the lane, a factor that does not work. On the opposite hand, she and Mick go on a experience within the nation in a horse drawn carriage, an expertise she says is “straight out of my dreams.” To be clear, she nonetheless has a fin on her head. They find yourself meditating whereas getting beers. She will get foam throughout her nostril. STRAWS, PEOPLE. Also, he makes use of “chi” and “lovey-dovey” in the identical sentence. So. Yeah.
And but. AND YET, she picks Mick. At least he provides her his jacket. Cough, JAMES.